


They're Called Caterpillars

by takethembystorm



Series: Tea Break [48]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-10-16 15:19:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10574019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takethembystorm/pseuds/takethembystorm
Summary: Chat's primary education, while excellent, did leave some gaps.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gigiree](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gigiree/gifts).



> Inspired by [this](http://gigiree.tumblr.com/post/159244420145/lovlae-this-will-never-not-b-funny-every-time-i).

“Look, all I’m saying,” Ladybug says, “is that we’re getting nowhere just putting out these fires as they pop up.  We’ve got to go after him at some point, or he’s going to realize that he can just sit back and run us ragged, he can just keep throwing akuma after us until we’re worn down and bam.  We’re finished.”

Chat takes a swig from the bottle of wine he’d gotten from somewhere and offers it to Ladybug.  She takes it, but only sips.

“Honestly, I think you might be blowing this out of proportion,” Chat says.  “I mean, how long has he had to try and pull something like that?  We’ve been in business for something like a year and a half and it’s never gotten worse than that one time we had two incidents in one day.  And even then we had the rest of the week free.”

“All that shows is that Papillon can drown us in supervillains if he wants to,” Ladybug says.  She takes a longer sip from the bottle and makes a negligent gesture out towards the city; Chat is forced to duck as she nearly clobbers him.  “Like, come on, two major battles a day, every day?   We’ve be at the end of our line in a fortnight.”

“Well, maybe he has—”Chat grins widely at her”—other cats to whip.”

Ladybug rolls her eyes at him.  “Other than us?”  She takes a longer pull from the bottle.  “Come on, we’re the biggest thorn in his side—we’ve _been_ the biggest thorn in his side since literally the beginning of our careers.”  She points the bottle at Chat, who leans back to avoid the slosh of wine.  “And his entire life—”

“—probably not his _entire_ life—”

“—fine, most of it, is dedicated to bringing us down so’s he can take our Miraculous.”  She brings the bottle to her lips and is about to tilt it back before Chat quickly reaches out and takes it.  She pouts, but settles back on her elbows.

“My point being,” she continues, “is that he can put a lot more effort into beating us, he’s shown that.  So why hasn’t he?”

“Like I said,” Chat says, “maybe he’s dealing with something else on the side.”

“Right, some other superhero,” Ladybug says, with just a shade of disbelief coloring her words.  “Which is why we’ve seen alllllll those big battles happening when we’re not around.”

“Well, maybe he’s just doing it quietly.”

“The dude’s first choice is to make flashy supervillains in bad outfits with anger issues and a pressing need to spread the love,” Ladybug says.   She makes a halfhearted swipe for the wine bottle but misses, overbalances, and flops across Chat’s lower legs.

“Like, come on,” she says, squirming furiously after the bottle as Chat plays keepaway, “that does not scream—stop thaaat—quiet to me.  I mean, maybe to you he’s quiet.”

“Or maybe he’s just distracting us with the big flashy supervillains while he’s off doing whatever to further his nefarious plans,” Chat says.

Ladybug pauses, then shakes her head and makes a swipe at the bottle.  “Nah,” she says.  “Gimme!”

“Why do you say that, and no,” Chat says.

Ladybug gives up and flops back down.  “’cause he wants our Miraculous,” she repeats.  “That’s not something he can do overtly, he’s got to give us something that we need to transform for.”

“You mean covertly, right?” Chat says after a second.  He takes a swig from the bottle.

Ladybug frowns, her brow wrinkling in thought.  “Uh,” she says, “yeah, covertly.  But you get what I mean.  Even if he is doing something behind the scenes and just using the supervillains as distraction they’re still something we need to start being proactive about.”

“Any ideas?”

“Well, they _are_ butterflies,” Ladybug muses.  “Maybe he’s got a nursery somewhere we can raid.  He can’t make supervillains if he doesn’t have any evil butterflies to make them with.”

“I think that you’re assuming that they’re real butterflies to start with,” Chat says.  “And even then would it even be possible for us to do something like that, I mean, we’d need to stake out every greenhouse and garden in the city, assuming he’s not importing them from someplace else.  And what would we even look for, evil glowing, uh—”

Chat’s brow furrows.  “—baby butterflies?”

The laugh rolls out from low in Ladybug’s belly and devolves into a cackle.

“What?” Chat says.  “What?”

“Don’t tell me,” Ladybug wheezes, “you don’t know what they’re called.”

“What _what_ are called?”

“I think the word you’re looking for,” Ladybug says, “is caterpillar.“

It’s Chat’s turn to pout.


End file.
